40 years Together : My Parents Answer Some Burning Questions

My parents Donald and Carmen celebrated their fortieth anniversary on December 18, 2011.  Even though this is a feat in a world where 3 month marriages are the rage, the fact that they are still in love with each other makes it an inspiring story. You may say I’m biased  but the stories i have to tell not even Hollywood can top it. I can say that I have seen love expressed in my home since I was a kid till the day I left the shores of Jamaica.  In their house laughter is melody that rings through the windows and playing, walks just for walking sake and kisses for no particular reason are commonplace.

My Dad is a pastor and my mom is a retired teacher and both met in college where they fell in love, got engaged and married in 1971. From that union two boys, Ainsley (that’s me..haha) and Camroy were produced.  I’ve seen my parents upset but have never heard a voice raised or a door slammed from anybody being upset.  My mom would not make decisions without my Dad and vice versa.  i told them once that if I have find hall the love they have I’m on easy street. They always without fail credit their relationship with Jesus as the reason.

I thought I would share a bit of what I experienced growing up in their home so i threw out the idea for the blog on my Facebook page and what is written below are the questions that were raised for me to ask. My parents don’t read blogs at all but I must say before I get into  these questions (which by the way were answered concisely as they both are ones to get to the point) that they have set a standard for me to live by but I know it is well worth the journey to love in the way they do. Hope you guys like it and please leave comments to let me know what you think.

Q. What things did you see in this person that made you want to marry him?

A. Humility was the main thing which i admired but in addition the caring and loving attitude were also good attributes.

Q. How would you describe your spiritual life as a couple?

A. Growing and maturing.

Q. Describe how you and your husband arrive at decisions.

A. We discuss andcome to a common understanding then we make a decision.

Q. Describe how you as a couple resolve conflicts.

A. We allow each other to express how one feels about the grouse and decide on the resolution.

Q. What do you think you need to do as a couple to get from where you are to where you need to be?

A. Set goals and objectives and prioritise as we work towards realizing them.

Q. What have the tough times taught them about one another?

A. We have learned to be satisfied and make the best of every given situation.

Q. Describe how your marriage has changed over the years.

A. Technically our marriage has not changed over the yeaars. It has only grown stronger and with greater appreciation.

Q. How do you communicate dissatisfaction to your spouse? When you are hurt or angry with your spouse, what do you do?

A. Keep silent. Allow for the appropriate time to speak as it is never wise to speak when one is angry.

Q. Do you think living together before marriage works on any level?  Explain.

A. From a christian point of view,it is no. This has often led to mistrust and disrespect.

Q. What is the one thing you both want to do together that you haven’t already done?

A. We want to go on a cruise.

Q. What advice do youhave for people in long distance relationships?

A.  Long distance relationships are never generally prefered because (1) there is a lack of face to face interaction (2) lack of trust can be created. (3) it does not reveal the full character of the person. (4) it does not give the opportunity to learn family background of each person’s family. Even though its hard it can work through the will and determination of both people involved. They have to be mature and know what to expect from their situation.  If they can communicate well then they’ll make it but it should never be a prolonged situation if it can be prevented.

 

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FINAL NOTE : I told myself I’d be the one to send them on that cruise.  That’s a goal for me as well.  Don’t hesitate to hit the like button, comment or subscribe and if you really like it SHARE.  Thanks for reading.

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New Year! What now?

Happy New Year everyone! It’s 2012 and everybody as always happens is excited at the prospects of the days and months to come. In this year of the dragon what will we being doing differently to make this year successful? You’re going to make resolutions? Good for you? But what does that mean? Does it mean you make a list, get all worked up and weeks later go back to life as usual?

Year after year I try to set goals that will enhance my life even in small ways. This year is no different with a 13 goal spread (plus a few left from last year). This obsession started in 2006 when I set a list of 153 goals to do by the end of the year which I did accomplish. The excitement of that and the inspiration from reading Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People pushed me to make it a yearly ritual.

After doing it for some time I started to hone in on things that were really important to me and breaking those down into sub goals. Things like spiritual growth, health, career, and travel after a couple of years of building goal lists were separated and then broken down into accomplishable tasks.  I stayed as realistic as possible with my goals  as they were all based on bigger goals based on a five year plan.

This year starts the beginning of a new five years and I’m excited.  Even though my last five years were mixed because of unforeseen problems (like business endeavours getting robbed or extorted and world economy going to crap) I still am impressed by what was accomplished and I’m definitely looking to do it bigger this time.

As I mentioned before I have thirteen goals this year. I’ll share a few with you as I close this blog. One of my fitness goals is to run a 5K marathon in the summer or fall of this year. This means training starts now. Another goal in terms of my career is to get a job in Canada which utilizes all of the experience and skill I garnered while in Jamaica.  One of my spiritual goals is to spend time in the New Testament covering the letters to the churches and how it applies to me.

I”m excited and hope all those who have set resolutions or goals may move toward them with excitement and fervour.  I also did get a life goal done this year. On my bucket list I had to go to a hockey game and was given that chance this past week. Yes!

Looking forward to your feedback. Stay strong and focused!

Ainzlee

Note : Check out my trip to the Hockey Game 😉